Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie

Just as ye sit doon among yer kin

There sterts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas

stert workin like a gentle breeze

but soon the puddin wi the sauncie face

will have ye blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae

a’bodys gonnae have tae pay

even if ye try to stifle

It’s like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair

tae try and stop the leakin air

shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek

Prae tae God it doesnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder

oot it comes like a clap a thunder

Ricochets aroon the room

michty me a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks

Hope I huvnae  crap ma breeks

tae the bog I better scurry

aw whit the hell, it’s no ma worry

A’body roon aboot me chokin

wan or two are nearly bokin

I’ll feel better for a while

Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him ! I shout with accusin glower

alas too late, he’s just keeled ower

Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare

A dinnae feel welcome any mair

Where e’re ye go let yer wind gan ‘ free

sounds like just the job fur me

whit a fuss at rabbie’s perty

ower the sake o’ won wee ferty

I don’t understand all the drama today surrounding Karl Lagerfeld’s comments on Adele.

This is what he said about her: “She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.“

People need to move on. He only stated the facts – she DOES have a beautiful face, DOES have a divine voice and IS a little over-weight.

Story over.

Back in the day, when we were talking of name changes, my buddy Sami suggested something to do with a lion because he thought my performances were rather lion-like. I would love it if you guys gave me some stage names to do with tigers! Just for kicks.

Comments are on the left (click “Original Article if you are on Tumblr):

I’ve gone orange! Getting my stripes on Saturday morning. Hope y’all like it!

Photo taken from Plum For Polly

Not sure about the price-tag ($175), but quite liking these Jeffrey Campbell shoes. Reckon they’d look wicked on stage!

So far I have received over 70 responses. I feel so privileged to live in a place like London where I can find such an abundance of talented musicians; and so honoured that they would want to work with me.

Please don’t stop getting in touch and spreading the word, this band is going to be highly important for me and I want to be certain that we’ve got the right men!

Contact me HERE if you are interested.

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Update 24/01/12: When I said “right men”, I didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to let women join the band; it’s just that all the applicants so far have been male. All women are welcome!

The hunt is well and truly on to find the perfect band to get gigging with this year. Please get in touch HERE if you are interested or e-mail the address listed above.

Angelo, if you ever fancy doing someones hair – I’m more than available!

For those of you who don’t know, “VJ” is essentially “DJ” for videos (in otherwords, live mixing of videos). This guy has created a portable VJ controller in his jacket.

Now, I can’t imagine many of us needing one of these anytime soon…but does it spell the future for our clothing? Are we going to be wearing video T-shirts with inbuilt TV screens controlled by our movement? Maybe instead of deciding whether to wear a red or black T-shirt, you could put the video T-shirt on and choose red…and later on change it to black? Or possibly you could stroke from your neck to the bottom of the T-shirt and it would create a red-to-black gradient?! We’ve got the tech, I wonder how long it’ll be until someone decides to create it.

Fancy making your own VJacket – check out the instructions here: http://vjacket.com/pages/make-your-own-vjacket

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4354C96CBF2DD16B